Where? Are My Pants

Eargasm: Dubstep

2011-12-04T08:47:00.000-08:00

I've been listening to dubstep lately. What is dubstep? Ok. It is a electronic-type music from UK that have some elements of drum and bass style of music but alot darker and dirtier (as in very distorted sounding).

A few noticeable elements of dubstep are the syncopated rhythm, tuplety/shuffly drum pattern.

Above is an example of a dubstep drum pattern.

However, like every other music dubstep too have evolved. There's now post dubstep and also brostep. What is it about I don't even bother to know anymore.

Here's a video.

The dubstep parts starts at 0.40. Listen at your own ear's risk.

If you got a good speaker this will blow your brains offfffffffffff.

However, the above song isn't what purist called a "pure" dubstep. Apparently, pure dubstep doesn't come with a drop bass. Some labeled this guy as brostep.

Anyway I got a serious problem here. I love listening to these stuffs. But I have a problem with the sound they used. During the dubstep part there's this sound (GRRRERE GERERE). Which when I listen too many times, I'll get like semi-migraine. Which kinda sucks :<

Hong Kong from my Memory - Day 4 (12.11.11) Part 1

2011-11-18T02:04:00.000-08:00

Day 4:

Woke up. Travel very farrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Then we saw this:

Just a typical tall guy in HK

Then food:

Simple and nice.

Seems like a poor man's food. But it's so nice.

So we went to The Peak in Hong Kong. First you have to ride up a tram few thousand miles up the hill, and there's a Madame Tussauds, and also an observatory where you can see all of HK from up there. Here are some pictures of the Wax Museum that I think it's worth putting up.

Bruce Lee!

And I met with our own Dato.

Why the sad face?

Groped.

Groped!

Why so yellow?

Mr.Lau ignoring my ass.

Nothing down there.

Albert Einstein striking a pose.

Picasso!

Father of Britney Spears.

Groped.

Molest.

Yes we can..not.

Hanging by the balls.

To Be Continue...

Hong Kong from my Memory - Day 3 (11.11.11)

2011-11-16T09:27:00.000-08:00

Day 3:

Argh! I'm so lazy to write bout travelling and stuffs! How did you guys make it look so easy and fun >

Anyway, we went here before going to lunch:

Breaking out a smooth criminal, gnome saying?

Criminal in front of the restaurant.

Took some photos of the signboards. There's Pacman in here.

Hello Kitty raped.

Then the next stop is the Ving Tsun Athletic Association (VTAA). This is one of the most well known place for all Ip Man's lineage students around the world.

What a cheerful man.

The man at the corner is the 2nd son of GM Ip Man, GM Ip Ching (basically my great grandfather in my lineage.)

Criminal is caught!

Fair enough. I'll play the grand piano.

Then our dinner is at this restaurant called Matchbox Cafe.

Hot Coke with lemon and ginger. Good for poisoning one's enemy.

Visited one of the best Wing Chun Sifu around. Sifu Kong Chi Keong. He is one of the sifu in Fight Quest (where two angmos will learn certain martial art for a week and then go for the fight). Here is the link if you're are free.

Next we went to visit Sifu Cliff Au Yeung. He is the consultant for the Ip Man 2 movie. Here's an interview .

And a night scene in Hong Kong.

Hong Kong from my Memory - Day 2 (10.11.11)

2011-11-15T05:29:00.001-08:00

Day 2:

In the morning we sat a train to Foshan, China.

This is during train ride.

So we reached the station in Foshan, China after about 3 hours train ride. And the first impression is that, this place is totally rundown. People hanging outside the station looked very suspicious and the place is dirty and old.

So we took a taxi to this kungfu park in Luocun. It's still in Foshan. The park is quite huge and you can see grandparents walking with their grandchildren. And also every part of the park is a hidden radio so there's a song playing while you hang out or do your kungfu.

There are like stone pictures all around like this:

Every pictures on the wall tells a folklore. But about what I dunno. I can't read chinese.

Dunno what it says. But this dude seems stressed.

This is the coolest part of the park. A statue of Grandmaster Ip Man. Because he was born here.

Our next stop is the Ip Man Tong (Museum?). Its is one of 2 other museum in this huge place. There's a restaurant, temple, toilets, bookstore and a Wong Fei Hung museum inside it.

The entrace to the Ip Man Tong

First sign that greets.

GM Ip Man's original wooden dummy.

Passport.

There are lots of stuffs to see inside there. Like his I.C., walking stick, pen and even his desk. And there are few original letters written by Bruce Lee himself that can be seen too. His handwriting is quite horrible though.

Walking on the way to the Wong Fei Hung (Huang Fei Hung) museum, we can see old folks gambling in the park just like in China. Oh ya, this is China.

The real Wong Fei Hung. Not as puny and handsome as Jet Li.

His lion head and wooden dummy for his martial art style (Hung Kuen, if not mistaken)

This is Poh Chi Lam. Wong Fei Hung's medicine shop.

Of course, every vacation there is a shitty part. We missed our train back to HK. And in the end have to sit a bus to a subway station. (The drivers there are nuts.). And from the subway to another subway and spend quite a huge amount of money for a new train ticket back to HK.

We left China around 7:15pm and reached only in the hotel around 12am+.

Sleep!

Hong Kong from my Memory - Day 1 (9.11.11)

2011-11-14T03:26:00.001-08:00

Day 1:

Sleep about an hour in the hotel due to the milk tea(?), and also someone kept on coughing and shaking the entire bed >3.

When got ready, we went to a mini mart to get some bread and stuffs like that. Then started our journey to Fanling.

This is a railway.

The reason is to pay a visit to my Great Great Wing Chun Grandmaster Ip Man's grave. It's a little hike up a small hill, which you will be greated by this on the way up:

Error.

It was drizzling on the way there and by the time we reached the grave we are already soaked.

Now, I don't know if anybody else felt the same way, but when I was standing there I just got a feeling that I wanna hang out there. It's like meeting a long lost grandfather. Or maybe I'm just starstrucked. Either way, it feels very sad to leave this place.

Ok, next we went to the subway and rode the MTR to another part of HK which I can't remember anymore. But looks like this:

And then we walked walked walked walked to a certain abandon mall. Inside the mall there's a tiny restaurant. Seems like alot of Hong Kong celebrities went to eat. We got those:

Mee with cheese sauce. Looks plain but tastes like heaven.

And this is really good. Dunno what is it called tho.

So after all the food we went to the Hong Kong Museum in another part which I can't remember the name anymore. There are too many pictures taken here, but i'll just post a few and try to explain as what i remember.

The museum is separated into few parts. It starts from the beginning of HK (which is 100,000,000 years ago) till now.

You thought I was jesting?

Yes. He is making a grand piano.

The olden times mini mart.

Some clan house or restaurant? Can't remember.

Merchant boat I think. There's a wax old lady "selling" stuffs inside, kinda creepy.

Entrance into the medicine hall.

Ah, medicines.

City in surrounding walls.

This is the exam room for those who are taking exams to go up higher ranks in their work place. They will do the exams, eat, and sleep (nothing written about pooping or peeing) in that box for 11 (around this number) days in it. I'd rather be a farmer.

Then we proceeded to the Avenue of Stars. Where the walk way is pasted with names of celebrities of Hong Kong and their hand prints. Those who are dead before the Avenue is made doesn't have any hand prints on their names.

Jackie Chan's prints!

However, no Donnie Yen :<

Who is this man?

The nicest part of the Avenue of Stars is the background view of the sea. The beauty of it can't be captured on camera and you have to go there yourself to see it.

On our way back, we saw some couples kissing excitingly in a park. Seems like quite a common thing to do stuffs like there (fun fact!).

Emm, ya, I think it's about all for today. Feet hurts like mad due to all the walkings (more than 10 hours of walkings and standings in the MRT! fun fact!)

Hong Kong from my Memory - Day 0 (8.11.11)

2011-11-13T22:56:00.001-08:00

This is the first time i'm writing a travel post. So far I've seen a few bloggers who writes such stuffs and alot of times they write the things that they themselves wanna read. Lame!

So my journal will be straight to the point, written with facts that I'll try to remember. And you get interesting facts like no other!

Day 0:

Our plane took off around 3:40 pm. And today i realize that I can't pee on the plane. I went in the toilet with quite a full bladder, and I stood there. For quite some time and nothing is going on. It's like when I was standing the pee is gone. Then went I came out of the toilet, quite a number of people are already waiting outside. :( Anyway, when I sat down, my bladder got full again.

And just like every single damn travel blog in the WWW, you definitely need to have a picture taken from the plane window:

Fulfilled my quota.

Arrive in HK around 7:20 pm. When I was at the airport, I got a nice feeling knowing that all Hong Kong stars actually walked around here before.

So we took MTR (sort of LRT train thing), to Tsing Yi to have dinner.

Then we see this in the waiting area.

Dunno what are those.

But we went to a restaurant which have random quotes on the walls and mirrors like this:

What moments in time?

I had this:

And also a cup of milk tea. Food is good. But rice is dry like desert. NG! Then we went on to have a dessert. Something like a mango pudding with some yogurt or ice cream or something inside. Went to the hotel by a taxi after this. Which is kinda cool, cause I finally got to sit the taxi that we always see in every HK drama.

Anyway, that bugger overshot the hotel and dropped us further away, so we had to walk.

The hotel we stayed is called Panda Hotel. Which is on the 3rd floor of a mall called panda mall. Or that is what I think. On Panda Street, with a logistic company called Panda Logistic.

There's alot of pandas figurines and soft toys of pandas and huge ass panda playing piano. But alas, I was too lazy to take the pictures. Just google yerself. Heh.

The words read: My love with grow with you.

This is what is outside of the hotel window. I'm amused by the color of the basketball court.

Outside the hotel window.

By the way, when we reached the hotel its about 11pm+. So the pictures inside of the hotel or from the hotel window was actually taken during the last day (Fun facts!).

Oh ya, and then I went to poop. While trying to wipe certain parts, I accidentally dipped my hands into the toilet bowl. Somehow its either the toilet bowls there are shallow or the waters are high. (Fun facts!)

Went to bed after that!

I'm in Hong Kong!

2011-11-08T18:19:00.001-08:00

Will write down the journal of my trip when I'm back on Sunday

Hey! Free custom 8-bit ringtone!

2011-11-04T10:55:00.000-07:00

Finally did my own first 8-bit Ringtone. 8-bit is cool, nostalgic and eternal. You should totally get an 8-bit ringtone from stranger like. And wow! You can download for free!

It might sound familiar if you listen to my songs (maybe around about as many as 1 of you knows this...)

Here's a link for the mp3 file.

Here's one for iPhone.

Here is a free link towards my own free music (which worth at around that price range)!

And since I'm in a generous mood, here's a gift from me to you.

Whore?

2011-11-01T11:55:00.000-07:00

The word "whore" sure has change it's meaning these past years. It used to be a word for prostitute but nowadays the meaning of the word is now "addict".

Example, you take a lot picture of yourself and people starts calling you a cam-whore. If you love to beat up weak kids then you are a bully-whore. You love McDonalds? McWhore. If you always have sex with random people then people will call you just-a-whore. If your friend also have alot of random sex, then you best call your friend just-another-whore.

But on the subject on taking pictures. Notice those fellas in your Facebook that changes their profile pictures all the time ? Yup! Those are not only cam-whores but attention-seeking-whores. Why do I say that? Let me teach you a lesson. This is a report that I spent alot of time reporting. Heh

First of all to understand the "victims" I put myself in their shoes/heels and I think to myself questions like:

"Why do I keep taking pictures of myself so much?"

"How come I keep changing my profile picture?"

"It is because my face is different?"

"I lost a nose hole?"

"Do I feel good when people "likes" and "comments"?"

"Do I like the attention given to my handsome/beautiful/photoshopped face?"

"I have no mirrors in my house?"

And after few hours of playing Naruto on PSP, I got the answers! And I realize the victims are (please note that those in this categories are kids who changes their profile picture in less than a month of the last uploaded picture. What??? Can't survive without changing your damn picture for a month? Whore!):

1. Usually single (mostly girls), who keeps changing their picture to show whoever that is in their friend lists that they are some hot sexy momma. Let me break it down. I'll use a female victim as an example.

Takes a picture in fancy restaurant with girlfriends. Upload. Because "omg!! I wanna show you that I don't need guys to survive cause I have my girlfriendss uh huh! xoxo gossip girls" but at the same time "hopefully guys will see that I'm single because my profile picture has no guys".
Takes a picture with make-up on. Upload. Because "Now all the guys can the "different", "sexier" side of me. Mmhmmm <3<3". (Holy cow, this is common as the act of peeing.)
Takes a picture in a peaceful scenery (Usually beach, mountains). Upload. Because "I'm a nature loving person therefore, I have natural beauty (gnome sayin?). So guys should totally go out with me."
Takes a picture in a sexy dress which never worn before. Upload. Because "Now all the guys can the "different", "sexier" side of me. Mmhmmm <3<3"
Reminder: If a person uploads all those picture at least more than a month apart, then it doesn't apply to them anymore.

2. Usually those (again, mostly girls) who just broke up, tries to put on pictures of them showing that they are "enjoying life" without the ex-partner. Again, a girl as an example:

Takes picture of her and friends in a club. Upload. Because "SEE!!!! I'M ENJOYING LIFE WITHOUT YOU!! I DON'T NEED YOU AT ALL! HAHAHA! LOOK AT ME DANCING!"
Takes picture of her hugging a guy in a club. Upload. Because "NAO I'M HUGGING THIS HOT DUDE!!!! WOWW IM WANTED BY MANY HEHEHE I DONT NEED YOU!!!"
Takes picture of travelling somewhere else. Upload. Because "just to pissed the ex off"
Tips for such victim: Honestly, we all know when you're trying too hard. So please stop.

3. Attention deprived kids. This victim uploads him/herself (mostly guys) doing "crazy stuffs" like taking a picture on toilet bowls. Peeing. Planking. And stuffs he thinks its "cool" and "hip" and "so punk rock" and "assholery". Then when people comments and praise how "crazy" is him then he feels like a "rock star" which in reality "an idiot" or "a retarded monkey".

4. Obsessive boyfriend and/or girlfriend and/or couple. This is as irritating as ants in your unwashed torn undies. Examples are:

Pictures of dinner. I can assure you 112% about 80% of couples in your FB have this picture. The girlfriend sitting in front of a plate of food (usually some western food) holding the freaking knife and fork and smiling. Then next picture is the boyfriend's picture opening his mouth, meat in a fork/knife and pretending to eat. Why? To show you that they are a happy couple who eats together happily.
Picture of travel or overseas (studies). Usually in a thick winter clothing, arm in arms (with occasionally sunglasses). This is to show that they are a happy couple in a cold country but still able the share the warmth from each other . And to remind you that you are alone at home and a right hand as a companion.
Pictures of scenery. Basically its like a wedding picture. Posing together in a forest. Beach. Cemetery. Just to tell you that their "love is perfect and everlasting" like the picture which cannot be deleted because FB keeps everything forever.
Every comment which goes "aww", "so sweet!", "you guys are perfect!" and "your gf is fat" is usually replied by (mostly the gf) ,"thanks :) <3 <3" and a boost for their love to each other. What is wrong with the world.

So the most important question. How do we end this abominations (of desolation)?

Simple. These 2 steps will changed lives!

1. We should stop click the like button! Click "report this photo" instead!

2. Stop commenting on them in their picture! Comment on how hot the "random guy" is at the corner of the picture instead!

Summary. What all victims share is the attention-whore-syndrome (AWS). So, the cure for AWS is by not giving them any attention. That will bring them back ground and make your FB page peaceful once again. Or you can delete them off.

Once again, these are my thoughts and I'm nuts.

A Guide To Freeing Your Heavy Soul

2011-10-30T11:45:00.000-07:00

So you're having a bad day? Feeling lonely? Had a car accident and feeling very down? Got into an argument and now you're feeling sad? Having hard time at work? People just don't understand you and you're hate for being who you wanna be? Suicidal?

Feeling all that but no one to talk to? Here's a solution.

Cry.

Crying is good for your soul. Makes you feel good, and then you'll feel a lot lighter after that. And it's free! It's like a bonus free gift when God gave you your handsome body.

When you cry, every drop of tears is like your problems and stress falling out from your chiseled face. Which is why you'd feel a lot lighter after that. And you ask me why after few hours after the crying session you get sad again? Oh simple. It is because you filled the sadness up in your chippy face every time you worry or think about the past again. So after you cry. Don't dwell in the sadness or the past and look forward for the future.

Remember! You can't change the past but you sure as fart can change the ending. Gnome saying.

Here's tip for you on how to unlock this God-given superpower:

1. Think of the traumatic stuffs that made you stress and that you tried to avoid thinking the whole day. Live out that moment again and enhance the damn image x1000 then burst out into flames of water!!! Remember: After the session, let it go away forever.

2. So you're a tough ass. And you cannot cry. This needs a little bit more effort. Go watch sad movies like The Notebook. Or if you dislike romance then watch this Korean dog movie called Hearty Paw. Personally, I never cried so much watching a movie until I watched this. I cried so much and hard, my kidney went out of water.

3. So after those movie sessions you still didn't cry (you must be a heartless SOB)? Another good way is to think of stuffs that hurts you before. Like when your friends betrayed you when you were in high school. Or you know? The times when you parents said they didn't wanna have you, and you're just an accident. Or also the times when you see your friends having Playstation and all you have is just the black and white Tetris game. Oh and stuffs that your exes says about you can work as well. (Like she said,"You're worthless" because you're really worthless).

4. But if you don't have such sad events. You can even think of happy things that will make you sad. Confused? Example. Remember when you were younger and everything seems so perfect? The time where you don't worry about money and stuffs like that. And the best time of your life is when you're feeling excited on the day your best friend (who is now your enemy cause he got more money than you) is gonna come to your house to play with your Power Ranger toys? Don't you wanna cry knowing that all that is gone FOREVER? And there's no more reliving such moments EVER again? NOW YOU CRY!

5. Another way is to cut onion. But that you just cry without any soul enlightenment. Same goes with eating wasabi.

6. The best way however, its a little sincere, honest prayer to God. Oh sure you'll cry, but also feel loved and His warmth at the same time. Sucks if you don't believe in God. No cigar for you.

Always, remember crying is not limited to babies, kids and females. If it suppose to be this way then when a man reached 21 his eyes will automatically pop out. But no, a man retains his eyes for looking at girls and crying to lighten his soul.

Now, the downside of crying is:

You look ugly.

Remember! The quote "Real men don't cry" is not the full quote, it supposed to be "Real men don't cry (in public)".

Pro-tip: If you're not a kid or an old man, but an adult and you have sudden need to cry, please hide yerself.

These are all crafted by my own imaginations and no proper research is done, at all. Follow at your own risk

I

2011-10-26T11:26:00.001-07:00

I saw your ghost tonight. It fucking hurt my head

Hiatus from blogging! BRB next week/month/year!

2011-10-09T10:46:00.000-07:00

Go on. It's the right track. Fly

2011-10-09T09:08:00.001-07:00

Fill In the Blanks!

2011-10-08T10:29:00.000-07:00

Original
__________ about a month ago in ____________ . I was ____________when I realized that ____________ . You have probably had that experience before. I felt ____________ , and I knew that soon I would have to ____________ . My friend ____________ had called me the previous day, and told me all about ____________ 's problem with ____________ , and I was a little worried about ____________ . Then, all of a sudden, I saw ____________ what I realized was ____________ , and right then I ____________ !
I remembered what ____________ had told me about a situation like this. It was very important that I not ____________ . Very calmly, I ____________ and ____________ . Before I knew it, ____________ , and I ____________. So you see, I really ____________ , and I decided I just had to tell you all about it.

Mine!

It was raining cats and dogs and horses about a month ago in Penang. I was enjoying my own face in the mirror when I realized that I'm stuck with the man in the mirror. I felt sad, and i knew that soon I would have to be sent to Taiping Zoo for a face like that. My friend whom is imaginary had called me the previous day, and told me all about his mother's problem with his dad who also does not exist, and I was a little worried about my sanity and my pants. Then, all of a sudden, I saw in the mirror behind the mirror which is IN the mirror of the mirror what I realized was the source of my craziness , and right then I did the Macarena and sang Doraemon's theme song!
I remembered what the voice in my pants had told me about a situation like this. It was very important that I not take off my pants and hand-wash them. Very calmly, I sing myself a lullaby and beat the crap out of my sleeping brother for no reason . Before I knew it, I felt happy, and I wet my pants. So you see, I really am just bored, and I decided I just had to tell you all about it.

Steve

2011-10-06T22:22:00.000-07:00

So another public figure passed away. And Facebook and the blogs and everything will be writing about how great this guy is.
But what about you?
After so many celebrities, high profile deaths, what did you learned?

1. Fame and money can't stop death. Sounds corny, but if you think carefully, it can be very frightening.
2. Like from the song "If I die young", 'funny when you're dead how people start listening.' Suddenly quotes from such people will begin to pop out in status updates.
3. People will appreciate you only after you're dead and gone. Not if you're not dead and went for holidays.
4. They will be mourning for you for about 3 days, then totally forgets about you.
5. The stuffs that you do before you die will haunt you forever. Like if you're a good guy, but you started sleeping around with guys before you die. Then after death, you'll forever be known as a guy rapist.

So today's lesson.

1. Don't spend all your time on money and fame. Spend with families, friends, dogs, cats and love ones (and some good video games). When you die, your money won't come visit you (of cause you can still have fancy funerals, but is not like you can enjoy it). Think about it, on your deathbed, whose hands do you want to hold? (Hands because you got two hands, so one hand one fella)
2. If you live what you preached, you're quotes will be quoted even before you die. Hehe.
3. People will appreciate you only after you're dead and gone. Unfortunately this fact cannot be change.
4. If you really want to live on after you've died, go change and touched other people's life. Even strangers who you will crossing paths with. Then you'd be living on earth forever. (Example, go punch a random guy for no reason, then he'll forever remember you)
5. The stuffs that you do before you die will haunt you forever. So if you're a guy rapist, try to do more good stuffs like donating to some charity. Then after death, you'll forever be known as a guy rapist.

Learned it well.

Dear Steve Jobs,
Thanks for the iPhone! It's a little pricey, but its worth every penny I've spent on it. You literally changed my life (sort of, if the iPhone is free, then of course the change is more). I dunno much about you, just that you've come out with many cool stuffs mainly the Mac computer stuffs, iPod, iPhone, and iPad. And sort of arch-enemy of Bill Gates.

Why you'd have to go so young I totally couldn't understand. Its really sad.
Take care!

Confuse.

2011-10-05T11:59:00.000-07:00

The World's Shortest Fairy Tale

2011-10-05T00:57:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
The girl said, 'NO!'
And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

Shooting Star

2011-10-04T09:32:00.001-07:00

Relationship with

2011-10-03T10:37:00.000-07:00

Do you remember the feeling when you're in school, and you think about the time when you get to go home to message or call the person you really really like?

The excitement and anticipation that is so magical that you're mood won't get spoil no matter what happens in class or whatever.

I used to have that kinda relationship.. with music.

I'll be in classes, and thinking of the time I can put the earphones in my ear and play the disc-man.

Remember?

Then I'd blast the music so loud that my parents would ask me to turn them lower or it'll spoil my hearing. (Doesn't matter since my hearing is gone by being a drummer)

Whenever I felt sad I just need to turn it on. If I'm happy, I'll turn it on. Whenever I'm bored, I'll turn it on and imagine that I'm playing or singing that particular song that is playing.

Sometimes I imagine singing it live in a stadium with serious amount of crowds. Sometimes I'll imagine my own version of the music video that is suitable for the song with me as the main singer.

Then I'd imagine the girls who used to reject me or I have crush on, suddenly idolizing me but I'll just ignore them cause I'm the damn rapper of Linkin Park! Pftt!

Then suddenly I lost it. I don't feel music is important anymore. And I just listen it when I have the time and if I'm busy I wont even turn it on. Sometimes I even drag myself to listen to them. Kinda sad.

That's why there's no music in my Iphone.

But not anymore!!! After all these tough days, I just wanna kiss my Peelow (pillow) and stuffs earphones in my ear and get molested by music.

Then there's no need to worry. No need for money. No need for humans. No need for the planet.

Because when I am music, then the whole world is mine.

HAHAHA i'm an idiot. hey.. don't judge my butt..

Finding Myself - Day 6

2011-10-02T10:19:00.000-07:00

What a day with low mood. Somehow I feel humans are selfish assholes. Rarely, I come across people who really put themselves in other fella's shoe before judging them. And a lot of them only comes to you when they need something from you.

Just stuffs that I can see in my own working band. They don't fucking care if you've to play whole night so as long as THEY get the fucking applause and THEY get all the fame and glory. And I'm at the corner smacking my fucking hands off (plus fucking up my backbones every night) and nobody knows I'm there. (Not forgetting looking like a dumbass playing that box)

And the fact that they call you one of the member but you have no say in the band? Well, a middle finger to that. What I am now a damn slave?

Not giving a shit anymore. My heart isn't in there anyway.

My world is just getting uglier day by day. Seriously, stop fucking with me, whoever is controlling this piece of shit land. If there's no need for me, then don't make me wake up when I sleep tonight.

I'M A SERIOUS, DAMMIT!

Finding Myself - Day 5

2011-10-01T11:23:00.000-07:00

Today I'm disappointed. But at least I can see a little glimpse of my future.
Today I disappoint my band members and my friends.
It's hard not to hate myself, seriously.
What the hell is wrong with me?

I keep on screwing things up to the point where I think there's some serious retardation inside me.
Are you sure you still need me, Earth?

I wish to be in hallucinations.
Silly dreams and imaginations.

Finding Myself - Day 4

2011-09-30T11:17:00.000-07:00

I feel further from myself more than ever.

Wonder what tomorrow will be?

I dunno who I am anymore.

Just an empty shell moving.

This is the end of my life

Little Lion Man

2011-09-30T02:05:00.001-07:00

Finding Myself - Day 3

2011-09-29T10:57:00.000-07:00

Im like a cat in cage.

Locked up and battered and bruised.

What a bittersweet day.

How I wished it could go on longer.

I see walls around you.

Things would never be the same.

I'm just a waste of your time.

Maybe I'm better off dead.

I'm a prodigal son.

And a shameful prodigy too.

I worry the future.

But I should not.

I've found myself.

Even if it's the wrong self.

It will end tonight.

Even if the demons keep me up all night.

There is desire to fight

But I have nothing to prove

Its time to let go.

And unleash Satan.

Tomorrow will not be me.

And it will never be.

I'll have the time of my life.

Even if I'm dying inside.

So let me go.

I'd rather go it alone.

Just let me go.

I'm never coming home.

Tomorrow.

Everybody gets.

Zero.

Fucks.

Story of A Lonely Guy - Blink 182

2011-09-29T01:30:00.000-07:00

Dear God

2011-09-28T10:12:00.001-07:00

Finding Myself - Day 2

2011-09-28T09:36:00.000-07:00

As usual waking up feeling the same way. Lost and confused. And sleepy, couldn't sleep until 5am. Maybe because I got too hungry. I am always hungry nowadays for some reason.

As there isn't much happenings today I give a lot of thoughts about my life.

I envy some people who have a secured future, or at least know what they wanna do. The only thing that I am certain about my future is death.
I envy some people who are superstars. They perform under grand stages, under spot lights and hundreds and thousands of people goes over to see them. And all their concentration is on them. They would feel so alive that nothing sad can come into their thoughts anymore.
I envy some people who can achieve so much even though they are so young. I've lived so long and yet there is nothing that I achieve that is worth talking about.
I envy some people who have friends. Getting no answer and no reply from an SMS when you wish them is sad.
I envy some people who can walk close to God. I can't.

During dinner time we (Kenny, Shen and I) went to see a performance. Was really an amazing experience. Left us kinda breathless. Get to sing the national anthem after so long. Kinda uplifted when I was there. However just as we left, for some reason, the feeling disappeared.

Met 2 old friends after that. And all talks about jobs and careers and their fun times and stories in Thailand. Not the best topic but, you know, fake a smile.

Went to see Kenny and Shen eat some vegetarian foodstuffs and then I walked back.

I'm home. Hungry. Alone.

I really hope this silence isn't the end.

Mission for Day 3:
Fake a smile - A real man doesn't display sadness even if it hurts.
Live alone - A real man will never have the need for companionship. (Failed, repeated)

Dear God

2011-09-27T11:05:00.001-07:00

Finding Myself - Day 1

2011-09-27T10:02:00.000-07:00

Woke up feeling strange. Like as if I'm on air and feeling empty.

Sat up for a few moments not thinking of anything. Then slowly everything starts to sink back in. And with a heavy heart I sink back to bed. Talked to a Shen on MSN as he is very happy with his new job (due to the fact that his new job is just being online the whole day).

And suddenly, an old friend who has disappeared for a very long time called all the way from Australia. The bastards had been avoiding our msges and calls for a year plus and he can just call in and talk as if nothing had ever happen before. And the worst part is that we talked to him like he just called yesterday as well. Guy friends have a really strange relationship. Especially after more than 10 years of friendship.

Had a good talk. And after lunch I did the weirdest thing ever.

I exercised. No. Not those Wing Chun forms or stuffs like that. I did some serious sit-ups and push ups.

Feeling a little better I bathe and spend some time practicing my smiling skills in front of the mirror. Now the real challenge begin.

First way to look happy is to sing in the car even when you're stuck in a jam. So I sang.

Student came to class. I smile.

Friends came to visit. I smile.

Boss talks to me. I smile.

Student's mom greets. I smile.

Feeling like shit. I smile.

Yup. Congratulation Alwyn. Well done. Now let's continue this good job for the rest of your life.

So I went home, and then some friends (Kenny and Shen) picked me up from my house for dinner. First we went to Time Square and don't see anything that is worth eating.

Then we went to KFC. And after looking for the menu we decided to go McDonald's. For some private reason Shen decided to choose Greenlane's instead of Sunrise's. Ordered a family dinner box and hang out until it was about 9+.

And then we drove around singing in the car. Amazing what breakups can do to people.

Then we went to Coffee Island for a drink and talk. (And some pokemon quizes)

And Kenny drove us to nowhere, and we decided to stay together in an apartment sometime next year. And discussed about the rules and what to buy, who is cooking and what to do in the weekends. This went on for a while.

And then we went to Free School Road to see Kenny eat some dessert. Then we went home.

And then it starts. Suddenly, there's no one there to listen to my rantings about my backached or how spicy the Spicy Chicken McDeluxe is. Or how hungry I am now. And about the plans of moving in together with my friends and the place we wanted to rent. Yup, for the first time in a while now, I have no one to talk to.

Loneliness is a bitch.

And so.

My mission for Day 2:

Fake a smile - A real man doesn't display sadness even if it hurts.

Live alone - A real man will never have the need for companionship.

Finding Myself - Day 0

2011-09-26T11:58:00.000-07:00

I fked up.

Today is suppose to be one of the happiest day of my life for finishing 3 months contract with Hard Rock Cafe. But because of my curiosity and my weakness I screwed up my life.

I dream of today many many times 3 months ago. On the last day I would jump on the drum and take an epic picture of me posing with my drum sticks. Then hang out until 3am and go home dancing and singing in my car. And celebrate it with my love.

Instead, I just cleared up my stuffs. Said goodbye to my members and left. And I drove home with tears streaming down my cheeks. And give myself a hug and tell myself, "You've done well"

What supposedly is a perfect day is gone just by one mistake. And the crappy part is I deserve this shit. I deserve every pain that is inflicting my chest. I deserve every lost of breath whenever I breathe.

I was told to find myself.

I dunno what is that or how to achieve it. But I think I'm suppose to upgrade myself.

My mission for Day 1:

Fake a smile - A real man doesn't display sadness even if it hurts.

When It Rains

2011-09-20T09:45:00.000-07:00

Dear God

2011-09-19T12:01:00.001-07:00

Types of Students In My Drum Class

2011-07-01T21:21:00.001-07:00

One thing I've learnt by being a drum teacher for almost 6 years is that there are different types of students with same characteristics.

1. The Normal

The Normal type students are the type of students that I consider as "normal" or "how students are suppose to be like". They come early to class, listens to instructions + understands them and also asks questions when there are things they don't understand. Practices at home by themselves alot.

Stress level: 0.5-2 out of 10

2. The Opposite

Basically they are the same as the The Normals. Only more attracted to errors. If The Opposite stays long enough and work hard enough, there are chances of them turning into The Normals. What separates them from the Normals is that The Opposites don't practice much (or at all) at home. Sometimes you wonder if they purposely continue making mistakes just to piss you off. Tsk!

Stress Level: 3-5 out of 10

3. The Silencer

This type is a very mysterious type. They don't talk much or ask any questions even when they understand or don't understand something. Classes tend very quiet and awkward. Heh.

Stress Level: 3-4 out of 10

4. The Skipper

Somehow The Skipper will disappear from time to time and then return to class suddenly and act as if nothing had changed. Excuses including sickness, no transport, sports day, too tired etc etc.

Stress Level: 2 out of 10

5. The Talker

Whoa this type loves to talk! They talk more than they play the drums. Stories usually is about their school life, gossip about they classmates (people that I don't know at all), and also jokes (which usually is not funny and I have to pretend to laugh). Some shares their family problems too.

Stress Level: 2-9 out of 10 (depending on the students' topics.. hehehe)

6. The Goodbye

Just so you know, people have to die someday. So some students took classes knowing that they are gonna fly to other countries somewhere in the future. And when the time for them to fly off comes, I get sad. Especially towards The Talker. Of cause that doesn't apply to all students. Sometimes I get abit too happy. Heh heh. Oh by the way, the sad parts only apply to students who tells me earlier before they left. Those who left without telling wont affect me much.

There are some though, who are mixture of different Types. Which sometimes double the stress level (Opposite+Silencer) and sometimes even neutralized the stress level (Normal+Talker).

Truth be told I never like teaching when I first started out. But now, I really wished to leave an impact (good or bad) in each and every single student that I taught before. Not just about drums, but about life.

So that I'll live on even after I leave earth.

Like in movies.

Types of Facebook Humans In My Facebook Friends

2011-06-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

These days, there is an increasing rates of people that love to post their "success story of their day" on Facebook.

After observing such beings for many years, I figured out that, there are different types of Faceb(h)ookers who love to post their successful stories.

Type 1: The Sinceres

This type is quite rare on Facebook. They are really sincere and

would usually thank God (or their teacher or parents or a tree) for their successes.

Example: "Got a new high paying job today! Thank Potatoes!"

Type 2: The Show Offs.

There are plentiful of these in Facebook. And many of them disguised themselves

as The Sinceres. And most people are confused. Will get energy and boosts from many "likes" and comments that will kiss his/her ass. (Usually those who "likes" and comments are the same few friends or fans).

Example: "Got a new high paying job today. Oh yeah baby! Money money here I come for you! Hahaha!". (And sometimes end with "Thank seaweed too!")

Type 3: The Babies

Annoying little piece of shits that will continue to cry for more likes and comments. Usually happens on younger people or people who are young and achieve something that they think is "something successful"

Example: "Guess who got the new high paying job?!?! :DDDDDDDD Guess guess guess??! :DDD XD XD" (What a jerkhole right?)

Type 4: The Evils

Ahh. These one usually targets Type 1-4 types of people. (The Babies get the hardest hit) They usually update to counter another fella successes or just to piss people off by showing that they are as good or better than them. Often personal. However, The Evils might not hit the target that they intend to due to the fact that there too many people on Facebook. And people who are not targeted but too sensitive might feel the blow instead.

Example: "Oh wow someone got a new high paying job! but guess who got promoted and got the high paying job's higher paying job? guess guess guess who motherfart-"

So I've decided to blocked such people in my Facebook. So to those who are not getting any comments or likes from me. Its not that I don't care. Is that I cant see you anymore.

How The World Ended: The Recipe and Guide

2011-05-16T09:01:00.000-07:00

Step 1: Earthquake! Humans die!

Step 2: Earthquake cause volcanoes to be alive again!'

Step 3: Volcanoes poops! Humans die!

Step 4: Lava heats the earth, ice on north and south pole melts!

Step 5: Floods! Humans die!

Step 6: Islands sink. Humans die!

Step 7: Survivors migrate to other countries.

Step 8: Food supplies dropped, countries overcrowded with humans. Infections! Humans die!

Step 9: Ice melts, waters rises, lands lessen. Humans die!

Step 10: Yellowstone volcano burst! The world is in darkness from the ash, and fire falls from heaven! DIEEEE!

Step 11: Temperature drops from sunless earth. Ice Age begins! Freeze to death!

Step 12: Human population 2,320,323

Step 13: Sucides! Human population 2.

Step 14: Coincidentally named Adum and Eva.

Step 15: Breeding begins. A new hope arises!

Step 16: Pregnant! Hope is good!

Step 17: But alas, two sons.

Step 18: --------------------

Wing Chun

2011-03-11T08:59:00.000-08:00

So I've been learning Wing Chun for more than half a year now. But wait, you don't know what is Wing Chun?

Wing Chun is a very unique and scientific form of martial arts. Wing Chun is a style of Kung Fu that originates from China, the martial art was later refined in Hong Kong. Wing Chun's specialty is in close contact combat, using quick punches and kicks with a tight defence, coordinated through agile stances and footwork for a quick advance. The effectiveness of Wing Chun is achieved by well coordinated attacks with simultaneous defence and vise versa. Due to its effectiveness this martial art makes for an effective form of self defence.

Copy pasted without permission from my Sigung's website.

Anyway, throughout my journey is the Wing Chun world, I've learnt many things that I've have previously not learn before.

For example, I learn that the more relax your arms are, the faster and harder your punches are. And in Wing Chun, you're weaker arm is the stronger one. Strange eh? It's because we rarely use to do heavy duty using our weaker arm, so in return it is much relaxed. And like I said, the more relax your arm, the faster and harder you hit.

In martial arts, footwork is everything. Without footwork, you're totally useless, and the that is the hardest to master. And I dare say, compare to Karate or Taekwondo, Wing Chun's footwork is really hard to master and it feels really awkward in the beginning.

Because Wing Chun is well known to be founded by a woman, many people think that our training isn't as tough as "hard" arts, like Muay Thai and such. But you should, see how your fists and arms and feet look like after one day of training.

And contrary to those who watch all the Ip Man movies, the chain-punch isn't the main strength of Wing Chun. We don't go straight towards to opponent and start chain punching like a retarded monkey.

But enough of all this, any more of such thing can be founded in alot of other Wing Chun websites.

On my next Wing Chun post, I will tell you what is actually going on in a private one on one class.

Now here's a picture of Donnie Yen as Ip Man just to make reading this post worthwhile.

A Guide To Sleep Paralysis 101

2011-03-01T10:15:00.000-08:00

Hullo, this is a guide to having your own exciting sleep paralysis(SP). What is SP you ask?

THIS.

Basically, you're paralyzed in your half-sleep half-awake moment, and as hard as you try wake up or call out to your roommate who is adding random girls on Facebook, you can't cause you're not fully asleep/awake and also cause you're paralyzed? Yes?

Some people associate this incident with demonic attack or being pressed by spirits or ghosts. I totally don't blame them cause when you're have SP, you can't move, but you are awake. You hear buzzing sounds in your ear, its kinda freaky (I once got sound of electronic sounds, which really made me pee). You feel like there's someone (or a group of people/beings) watching you. And you feel fear. Like seriously the panicky kinda fear. Like when you're alone in the toilet and you see huge winged cockroach at the door and you can't leave.

PS: I however believe in the existence of Demons and their insane power to possess humans, so if you do get SP all the time and it's affecting your life. Please consult your pastors. Cereally.

Ok ok. If you want more info on how other cultures or religions view on this go Google it yerself.

Straight to the point.

1. Sleep late, wake up early.

2. Try to do something to keep you awake. Like reading a book? Play a game?

3. Do until you get really sleepy. (You can skip all that if you're feeling sleepy and want a nap)

4. Take a nap.

5. Set alarm around 1 hour from the time you're napping.

6. Alarm rings, wake up shut it.

7. By this time, you should be like half awake/asleep.

8. Sleep facing upwards. Or supine position.

Learn some english mannn.

9. OK this is very important. Just when you're about the drift off to sleep. Move your eyes upwards. Basically like your trying to look at your brain. With your eyes closed of course.

10. If you done correctedly:

a) You'll first "pop" into a semi dream land. It's like you dunno whether your eye is close or open, but you can see your surroundings. Everything will be the same as where you're having your nap just alot grainier. However if you're seeing a different world, congrats, you've teleported. And I dunno how to get you back.

b) You'll hear voices in your ear. Buzzing its the most common. Music sometimes. If you hear voices.....er.. Anyway, any of those are really scary.

c) Next you'll realize that you're paralyze except your eyeballs. You can try moving your fingers though. It'll move a little.

d) You feel like you're being watched. And filled with fear.

e) Definitely get panic.

f) Experiment with the moment, if the panic haven't overcome you yet. Try to pull your body up. HAHA. TRY!!!

g) Trying too hard will cause your soul to lift from your body and you become a ghost... Just kidding. I've tried that. Never left my body.

So how? You wanna leave semi-funexcitingcrazyfreakyhorrorland? Aww, so soon.

This is how to wake up or fall asleep deeper.

To wake up. Stay calm, shut your eyes, and move your head. Or arms and limbs. Once moved you will snap out of it. Doesn't work on fingers and toes.

To fall asleep. Shut your eyes and clear your mind. Then you will sleep. And when you wake up. You will think that having a SP is a dream and it didn't actually happen to you. Which kinda sucks after all you've been thru.

What? What did you say? I'm making this up?

Fine lo. Believe whatever you want. But my success rate of having SP following those steps is a 100%. Not jesting. Either my methods really work.. or my house is haunted. hehehe.

Caution: The feeling of fear will be really real. Considered yourself warned. And practice at your own risk. I won't take responsibility if you're stuck in SP forever.

Essay: Aku Sebatang Pencil

2011-02-24T08:08:00.000-08:00

Aku sebatang pencil yang bernama Staedtler. Ini gambarku yang hensem.

Aku bermodal 2B yang lebih hebat daripada yang HB. HB memang modal bodoh. Tak guna langsung. Ink HB memanglah lemah sekali. Macam ketut lemah.

Anyways, aku dilahirkan di kilang misteri. Selepas aku dilahirkan, aku sebenarnya botak. Kemudian kejadian ini terjadi:

Dan kepalaku berambut satu.

Kemudian, saya dan kawan-kawan atau adik beradik saya diletakkan ke dalam kotak then dihantar ke kedai jualan alat-alat tulis dan dipamerkan seperti monyet dalam circus. Teruk betui kami dipicit, dipergunakan tetapi tiada yang ingin membeli kita. Terasa pulak seperti diperkosakan.

Huhuhu, cakap kelakar aje. Why so serious?

Selama setahun saya berada di kedai itu, dan pada masa itu, saya telah mendapat ramai kawan yang unik dan yang berbeza personaliti.

Ada pembaris yang bersikap lurus. Ada pemadam yang suka pemadam emosinya. Dan kebanyakkan adalah pen yang beraneka warna.

Dalam masa setahun ini, saya telah terjatuh cinta kepada sebatang pen yang cantik. Ini gambar cinta saya.

Oh cantik betui!

Jantungku berdebar-debar setiap kali ku memandang Papermate. Tetapi aku sebatang pencil yang permalu. Jadi tidak pernahku meluahkan isi hatiku kepada cintaku.

"Kau ini penakut", kata pembaris.

"Kau ini tak guna, makan tahi la", kata pembaris.

"...", kata pemadam. Tak dapat baca kerana dipadam olehnya.

"Aku takut kena reject pulak", kata saya.

"Tak cuba mana boleh tahu?", kata pembaris.

".............", kata pamadam.

"Oh", kataku.

"Ok lah. Aku akan confess dan kahwini Papermate esok", kataku lagi dengan bersemangat.

"...?", kata pemadam.

"?", kata saya.

"Kenapa kena tunggu sampai esok? Kamu ini tak ada bola",kata pembaris.

"Saya kena fikirkan kata-kata yang hebat dan seksi untuk mengikat hatinya! Tau tak?", kataku.

Jadi saya pun berfikir selama 8 jam 21 minit. Kerana pencil tak boleh tidur pun. Heh heh. Kelakar betul.

Walaubagaimanapun, saya telah bersedia untuk meluahkan hati Papermate dengan kata kata ini.

"Wahai Papermate merah yang cantik. Kamu telah memikat hati ku walaupun saya tiada hati. Tetapi telah ada hati setelah nampak kamu. Itulah kehebatan cinta ku pada mu. Hebat sehingga tiada hati pun boleh ada hati. Gila betul"

Hebatkan? Ok, aku sudah bersedia.

Hari pagi pun tiba. Dengan harapan yang baru. Aku rasa pada akhir hari ini, aku akan menjadi pencil yang paling gembira di selurah dunia ini! Yeah!

Semasa aku hendak pergi jumpai Papermate, seorang manusia telah mengambilnya dan meletaknya di atas cashier counter.

Aku melihat dengan mata yang penuh dengan air mata, cinta pertama dan terakhirku yang di bawa keluar dalam plastic bag.

1. Experiences of Arley Macbeth

2011-02-18T08:41:00.001-08:00

In the year 2005, I took my skills in toilet bowl making, and proceeded to Delhi to go through the course prescribed for possessional ToiletMAN (Toilet Mending And Networking). Having completed my studies there, I was duly attached to a certain Hotel as Assistant ToiletMAN. The hotel was located in India at the time, and I, being young with a passion for hard work and toilet bowls, work myself up to Head of The International ToiletMAN. Meaning, I could retired in the year 2010 and receive quite a sum of money into my bank account monthly.

In the year 2011, I went back to my hometown in Penang with neither kith nor kin, and was therefore as free as air -- or as free as an income of RM100 a day will permit a man to be. There, I stayed for some time at a private hotel in the Batu Ferigghi, leading a comfortless, meaningless existence, and spending such money as I had, considerably more freely than I ought. So alarming did the state of my finances become, that I soon realized that I must make a complete alteration in my style of living. I began by making up my mind to leave the hotel, and to take up my quarters in some less pretentious and less expensive domicile.

On the very day that I had come to this conclusion, I was standing at the Penang Road, when some one tapped me on the shoulder, and turning round I recognized young Bobi, who had been a junior in ToiletMAN club. The sight of a friendly face in the great wilderness of Penang is a pleasant thing indeed to a lonely man. In old days Bobi had never been a particular crony of mine, but now I hailed him with enthusiasm, and he, in his turn, appeared to be delighted to see me. In the exuberance of my joy, I asked him to lunch with me at the KFC, and we started off together in a hansom.

Debate Mondays: One Vs Many

2011-02-06T09:13:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Debate Mondays with me. Today we'll have a debate with myself on the topic "SHOULD A MAN/WOMAN STAY SINGLE UNTIL S/HE MEETS THE ONE, AND MAKE HIS/HER FIRST GIRL/BOYFRIEND HIS/HER HUSBAND/WIFE OR SHOULD A MAN/WOMAN COMMIT INTO A FEW RELATIONSHIP BEFORE MARRYING HIS/HER THE ONE, GNOME SAYIN ("YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING" IN SHORT")

I, your host will introduce to you all the 2 debaters that will participate in this controversial topic. And here is him, the guy in front of the mirror who supports that "the first should be the last", Myself!!!

*Booooo from the audience(s)*

And there comes the other guy behind him, who supports "many first then only last la", Meeee!!!

*Applause*

I: Hullo, hullo welcome, Me and Myself. Please put your buttocks on that fancy hand.

I: Yes, now that Me and Myself and I feels quite at home, I would like to start the debate now. TELL ME, MYSELF! WHY?

Myself (Supports) : Myself will definitely tell Me why. I think it's good for a person to have only one girl/boyfriend because then, there will be no exes from the past that will haunt them. You know? Like, when they go out and do things like they do with their previous relationships, they won't have fancy flashbacks from the past, gnome sayin?

Me (Disagrees) : *fake coughs* buuhh shyeet~

I: No fake coughing in debates. Swearing is wokay.

Me (D): Wokay, anyway Me thinks Myself is talking illogically. If you are out with your current partner and doing coupley stuffs and still think of your past relationship's partners, then there's a problem with you! Am I not, not right, right?

Crowd(s) starts cheering! (Figure 1.2)

Figure 1.2

Myself (S): Definitely a disagreeable statement. Even if you don't have feelings, the thoughts will sometimes come in by itself am I correct?

Me (D): Wokay so? Let the thoughts appear la! As if it's gonna affect your relationship with your current partner.

Myself (S): Wokay nevermind. Let you win this one. But then there's some people who went into many relationships and it all ended badly until s/he is afraid to fall in love anymore and ended up being a monk! See! Bad right!

Me (D): Then that person must be a weak balls. And don't give me bullcrap about people afraid to be in love anymore. Nobody is afraid to be in love. If they say such stuffs, its either to get more attention or they're just weak in the balls.. or watches too much love comedies (especially hollywood ones) . I can tell you now, son of a fish, that no matter how many times a human heart is broken, it will never fail to love again.

I: *sniff* So romantic la Me.

Me (D): And some more, if you marry someone without going thru heartbreak before, then you lost a lot of bed time stories for your children adi. Right or not? And what if your son and daughter went thru heartbreak and you don't understand what their going thru cause you think your so great that you marry your first boyfriend blah blah blah NAHHH! Your children will leave your ass and find a certain handsome guy who interviews himself because he understands what they are going thru. And he is a senstive and a warm man too!!! Just not that tall.

Myself (S): W...wh..WHAT IF THE CHILDREN ALSO MARRIES THEIR FIRST BOYFRIEND!

Me (D): If your son marries his boyfriend, then too bad la. Heh heh.

I: L O L man. L O L.

Myself (S): You totally understand what I'm trying to say. Don't mocketh me.

Me (D): Then lucky you and your fancy kids la! But you think la, with the way kids are having partners in the age of 6 and 7. You think they can stuck to one for so long?

Myself (S): I think..

I: Don't drag me into this.

Me (D): You think whatever you want la. I'm telling you, if you wanna have good topics to discuss with your rebellious daughter or your horny son is to have fancy stories of break ups. And the break up story of your brother will never be as captivating and does not promote parent children bondings.

Myself (S): This damn debate is one sided -"-.. Don't even know why debate it at the first place.

Me (D): Don't get me wrong. I don't mean go mess around and have a lot of girl friends. Stay with one. If its meant to be then its meant to be. If you love your girlfriend and you treat her right and she treats you right, then marry her even if she is your first and last. If you kinda suck as a boyfriend and get dump alot (or you are just made out of 100% pure crap-luck), sure you will end up in more (broken) relationships. And more doesn't mean better. So to be honest, its not debatable.

I: Yes, so who started this crap?! Pisses me off! Beat Myself up!!!!

Myself: What!!?

Happy Chinese New Year 2011

2011-02-06T09:11:00.000-08:00

A Typical Day with an Orthodontist

2011-01-31T22:11:00.000-08:00

See, every time I go to the orthodontist, I automatically have this demonic compulsive to swear. In my head. Here's the situation.

I walk into the operating room and put my ass on that fancy up and down chair. So the ortho force open my mouth and start poking and digging around, like there's gold hidden somewhere.

No hope of finding anything in this little fella

Anyway, I'll let him do all the digging, cause it don't really bothers me. Then the sucky part comes. The tightening of the wire.

Of cause, the worst part of it is that I can't see whats going on but I can FEEEEL everything!

Action: *Tighten wire*

Me in My Head: Fatting hell!! Wth was that!!

A: *Pressing of certain tooth*

MIMH: Owowow111!!

A: *Tighten wire*

MIMH: Bloody hell!! HOW MANY TIMES YOU WANNA DO THIS SHISHI!!

A: *Even Tighter*
MIMH: Mother fishing virgins! PAINNN LAAA!!!!

A: *Pressing of certain tooth*

MIMH: Hmm not too bad.

A: *Pressing of certain tooth*

MIMH: Stop it, ESSO.

A: *Pressing of certain tooth, like, super hard*

MIMH: YOUR BREAKING MY TEETH COD DAMMNITTT!!!111!

A: DONE

MIMH: All is well. I've stayed quite calm this time.

*Give an encouraging pat to myself*

Girl(s)

2011-01-28T10:48:00.000-08:00

Ah, girls.

Confusing as ever, thou maketh me,

Understand you I cannot

And for that, I'm despaired.

If I keepeth my feelings from thee,

Thou sayeth I'm not an open hearted fellow.

But if I pour forth me feelings like a floodgate,

Thou sayeth a fussy pot is me.

When, but I, did not send thee any SMS,

Thou sayeth I care not for thee,

But when I, SMS too many-ful,

Thou sayeth I'm clingy as f-

..flies (on poop-eth)

Misunderstand me, thou shall not

Me love-th thee forever and after, fair little windmill.

All I needed, is a roadmap-th,

That will guide-th me into your heart.

(or thoughts?)

Fill In The Friday Blanks, Friday!

2011-01-27T19:58:00.000-08:00

Thursday Tantrum

2011-01-26T08:11:00.000-08:00

Its time again for Thursday Tantrum! As always I'll interview myself on questions that I would usually ask myself.

Me: Hi, welcome again to the late late late interview with Me. Today's guest is a special friend of mine. Please welcome, Myself!

*I clap for Myself*

Myself: Thanks for inviting me, Me.

Me: No problem! Let's start then. So Myself, what do you think when I say "friends"?

Myself: Hmm? WHAT? FRIENDS? WHAT A LOUSY TOPIC. I DONT WANNA CONTINUE THIS INTERVIEW!

Me: I see. Not a good response. So who are your friends currently?

Myself: Hmm. I'm not in any school or college. So I have none of those. I'm not close with people at church. So I have none of those. My working place is not an office, and the only person who works there is my teacher and boss. I guess he is a friend? And my girlfriend! That is a friend!

Me: Whoa, sucks being you eh? What about your friends that you used to mix in high school or college?

Myself: I used to mix with my high school friends. But they went away to study and we kinda grow apart. You know, they got their own friends and things like that. And when they are back we rarely hang out that often as we all got different interest. The worst part of it? Because, I don't smoke or drink I feel kinda separated from them. Kinda sad. College friends? Same case. Just that these guys are busy in work and have no time to hang out anyway.

Me: Man, you suck. What about church friends?

Myself: Haha, church friends? Well, church people are the hardest to mix with. You have to act "good" in front of them and try to look good but at the same time you know that they are also actors and actresses. So to be honest, it's really disgusting. And the shitty part is those people cause me to wanna leave church more than anything else.

Me: Whoa whoa, I sense anger.

Myself: ANGER?!!?! no ar... Just telling what I feel, gnome saying*? Those people who call themselves Christian aren't so different than people they call "worldly". When they are outside, they talk dirty stuffs, the leaders practice favourtism, they judge people by appearance, they backstab each other, they make fun of own pastors and the list goes on and on. Motherrrr, they are worse than the "world" to be honest. At least the "world" got the balls to act like an Ahole consistently. Damn.

Me: Aren't you a Christian yourself?

Myself: If those people call themselves Christians. Then I'm not one. But I can truthfully say from the bottom of my heart; I believe in the birth and death and the resurrection of Jesus Christ and that nobody can enter heaven except thru Him. Yeah! Eat that!

Me: Wokay. But don't those "Christians" pull you away from God?

Myself: Believe me not, they did. But believe me not, my boss/teacher is the one who increases my faith in my God. And the shocking part is that he is a Muslim man. Honestly, he is one of the most honest and sincere person I've ever known. Restepa

Me: So lets see. You are basically friendless eh?

Myself: Kinda.

Me: What about your girlfriend's friends?

Myself: You nuts?

Me: Oh well, you still have me right?

Myself: ...I guess?

*Hugs Myself*

Thursday Test!

2011-01-19T08:14:00.000-08:00

Oh, its the time again for Thursday Test!

Every Thursday I will give a test to Myself. Because I really really like Myself. So I wanna test Myself in front of Me!

I: Hullo Myself, today's test is "grow some beard".
Myself: Wei, so hard. Something easier la.
Me: Not hard at all, I do this all the time. Hey I, give harder test la.

I: All don't bising. Myself must grow a beard right now. Me don't interrupt Myself. Damn I also headache.

Myself: Ok this is my current face:

I: Aiks? Current face? I didn't know Myself can change faces.

Me: ...I didn't know Myself is that ugly.

I: I know la.

Me: I mean I-

Myself: Shussh. Let me concentrate.... Ohm, Ohm. Think of hair. Hairy hair hair hairrrrrrr!

I: (whispers Me) I think Myself should be thinking about beard instead?

Me: (whispers I) Me thinks so too. But what to do, we won't wanna interupt Myself right?

I: OH OK.

Myself: Shusssh!!!! Bising! Think of hair! Concentrate!!! Ok, I can feel it! YESS!

Show/Hide

Myself: NICEE!

I: Eh hullo. I asked for beard not body hair. Its seems like you have hair all over the place but your face!! And what is that extra leash behind your neck or back!? So hairy!!

Me: HAHAHAHAHA (Faints)

Myself: AIYA Myself thinks wrong! Chikushouuu! Hunnhhh!

I: Anyway you fail. Pssh. Idiot.

So that's all for today's Thursday Test! See you all next time.

Review of teh movie: Faster

2011-01-17T09:06:00.001-08:00

Well, the movie started up with quite a strong and captivating story line.

Above: Strong and captivating

Then, it went on to be quite.. normal. Basically its about a guy who wants revenge for the killing of his brother, and another guy (policeman) trying to get our main guy, and another guy (assassin) who is hired by the ______ to kill our main guy. Try to fill in the blanks.

A hint. The answer is in one of the ( ).

Overall, I guess its a decent action movie. Quite enjoyable but at the same time you might let out a yawn.... or five.

"Nice movie. Uwaaaa"

Introduction: A letter to you

2011-01-16T08:45:00.000-08:00

Hi family, friends and strangers,

Just a reason as to why I started blogging again. Its because Facebook is invested a with bunch of attention seeking legged beings that keeps on updating their status of their lives and don't have the decency to whore it around in a blog so that no one will care! RIGHTT?!!

So in order to not be like them, I can now complain my butt off and nobody who don't want don't want to know my thoughts can stay away from it.

See... i'm a considerate ~~attention seeker~~ person.

I welcome you to be in my pants (or shoes). And, especially welcome to my thoughts.

Here's a thought. Meow