What a day (And it's just the beginning)

This morning I forgot to bet on my own team (Houston Rockets) losing. I do that all the time, so that I won't feel like crap when Rockets loses. Amazingly they lost to Kings! wtf seriously.

I should've win some good amount of money from this but fml I totally forgot bout this game today.

And about my work. Seriously I can't believe there are so many people with no dentures in this goddamn island. I can't even finish one without 3 new dentures coming in.

And by the way! I was told by my 7 years girlfriend that she can't see a future with me anymore. So wtf am I suppose to do now?

I've never felt so lost and lonely in my life before. Like I couldn't tell this to anyone cause we have the image of a "perfect couple" to show, and I can't complain to her cause let's be honest here, when the girl doesn't love you anymore, why would she fcuking care about what you have to say anyway.

I need a holiday.. from this fcuking life. Nothing to look forward to every day, no love, no friends, only work work work and being in debt. I will now go and fcuk myself 🖕

Alright alright alright

Finally some happy times! After 2 weeks and lots of money, my PS4 PRO has returned to me!

Unrelated picture

In fact, after changing the motherboard, the fan on my console doesn't sound like jet engine anymore! I can finally play in peace (for now -"-).

Btw if there's any random person reading this who owns a PS4 and really into NBA2k20, please add me! I've been looking for a gaming partner for a long time now and none of my real life friends are into basketball...

My ign is "likealostghost" 😐

Boom! Just like that.

And then I'm 31.

My mom took this picture of me reacting to my birthday cake (26 Oct 2019)

What can I say? It's kinda depressing to be honest, knowing that I've not achieve much since the last blog post!

In fact I sort of regressed in certain areas. But let me update you (random strangers and my future kids(?)) on my life's progress:

1. I bought an apartment

So with the help of the state government, I finally got a place on my own. But it's quite burdensome to my bank account to be honest. It's currently under renovation and hope to move in some time next year (If I can afford to buy furnitures after paying for the renovations...

Home sweet home

2. That's all folks.

Seriously though. Lemme tell you about the regression part.

1. My PS4 PRO is dead.

Damn my itchy hands! I actually dismantled my PS4 Pro a few times because of jet-engine sounds coming out of the consoles (damn you Sony for making such bad ventilation) and never had an issue. Until I accidentally destroyed the wires connecting to the battery! But wait! My motherboard is spoilt too! But wait again! The optical drive is broken too! But wait! My wallet is broken.

This is my apartment after paying to fix the ps4

2. Lost some friends.

Of course, this is normal once you hit certain age. I've lost some friends. Some of them don't seem interested enough to put any effort to meet up. Some feels like their new friends are more interesting and have more similar interest. Me? I've no new friends. I just lose friends.

3. Saddest part is.

I used to have a girlfriend that is so in love with me and treats me like a king. And for years and years I took it for granted, I didn't give the same attention and love back as much as she gave me. And then one day someone came along and treated her the way she supposed to be treated.

To make it short, we are still together but it's not the same anymore. The dynamics of the relationship had changed. I'm now giving her all the love and attention I could ever muster but.. I think it's a little too late for me.

I used to feel very secure when I was with her. But not anymore. The worst feeling is to say I love you and don't get it in return. Kinda sucks. But karma's a bitch.

So I'm in limbo. It's like being with someone that have no problem leaving anytime. I'm walking on eggshells everyday. Hell, I can't even use social media anymore because it hurts seeing how the "other guy" is still interacting with her.

Shit thing is, I couldn't tell this to anyone. Literally dealing this on my own. Every. Damn. Day.

Honestly world, I missed being loved. I missed being call sweet names. I missed being missed and wanted by someone.

I never knew I can still feel so alone while being in a relationship. It's a hell of a price to pay huh?

I never thought I would say this ever. I used to see my friends getting engaged/married and having kids as a curse. But at the point of my life, I feel kinda pathetic that I'm still the way I am. 

Fking loser deserve it.

Why I Left Facebook!

Finally you guys! I've decided to stop using facebook for good! I mean, my account is still around, it is just that I wont be wasting my time and energy logging into fb anymore.

Let me tell you why dear friends and strangers.

1. Waste of time
I'm sure most of you internet users know about this and need no explanations.

2. Waste of phone storage
The fb app on iPhone is a storage sucking leech. So good to have it gone and get back almost 1gb of storage back! Suck it

3. Posts are getting shit
When fb started out and everyone is new, people posts only important events (mostly?) and stuffs that are interesting (other than food pics, this crap has been going on from the beginning humans realised they can post pictures online eg. blogs).

Nowadays, most post are trash! Like posting picture of road while you're driving!? What the crap?

Wow the picture of the road you're driving on changed my coddammed life

And what is up with post of your face and then unrelated captions? That's the worst.

4. Internet users are whiny babies

There was a time where I used to have fun on different groups/pages on fb. But it's so hard to enjoy anything anymore. Every posts no matter good or bad is sure commented by crybabies that can't just keep their negative opinions to themselves and spoil everything FOR EVERYONE.

But you say "Why do you care what other people think? Just ignore them you over-sensitive bastard!". Now now, I'm not a bastard. And if you can read such comments and then move on with your life then good for you, but I personally cant. Sorry.

5. Getting bombarded with useless infos from people whom I have no interest. 

Aren't you fellas sick to knowing wayyy to much info about most people that you don't really care about? I do and so should you; you sick stalking pervert. 

Not only it's not interesting, but it's wasting the space in my brain. Why should I know about your food and your outing with your friends and what shitty movies you are watching, or you getting your haircut, or how nice that you give strangers money and how great your holiday is?!??!

I DONT LIKE!!!

6. I guess. It's me

But honestly, I think it is just because I'm insecure and jealous of most people on my fb feed (pfttt..scorpios, amirite?). I tend to compare a lot of with my peers and I can say its disappointing to me all the time.

For example, one fella can post a video of him playing a musical instruments or singing and get thousand views in few hours. But video of me doing my own songs gets only 80 views after a day. Or pictures that I take effort to shoot gets few likes versus picture of a face driving getting 100+ likes.
WHY!!?

....

Ahem.. Anyways I dont blame fb for this. I realised if one is friendly and/or talented in real life, their posts on fb usually gets more interactions (good tip for you fb addicts hoho). I'm neither so...

 I'm sorry facebook, it's not you, its me.

By the way, my personal music page is still on fb, with about 81 likes while posting this. Great job me. If you read this, please like me

What a life

 

Don't you find it upsetting when you open up Facebook and everyone is doing fun things and you're here in your house doing nothing?

How do we overcome such feelings?

It's so amazing that I can write this post while pooping.

Isn't "Emo" like a mid 2000 trend? Who even uses that word anymore.

What an idiot;

Welcome back, me!

So after so many years, I've decided to resume this blog!
And I've just released my first album!

You can buy it on iTunes
Or just listen to it on Spotify

Alot of hard work and time is invested in this album. Please support even if you don't know me!

EMO hair fail